Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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