somebody snuck up and got me drunk
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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