Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
