he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
