mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
