One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
