Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
But theres a keg here and me gusta
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
