nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
