The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
