Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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