They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
