Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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