I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
