its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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