i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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