I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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