Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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