My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize