I cut my penus on the lid.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
