we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so let's talk penis.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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