I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Welp...herpes.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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