I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
