i think my mom watched the whole time
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
