Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
