she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
