fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize