your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
