I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
