What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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