Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
