it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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