so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
