I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
there is puke in my bra ... again
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
