Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
