it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
