I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
