I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
