you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
