I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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