Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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