I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Holy sore nipples Batman
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
