as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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