He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Is it penis luge time yet?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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