Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
