i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
