She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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