Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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