He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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