I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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