The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
