great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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