I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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