Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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