she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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