nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We need to rekindle our bromance
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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