i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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