Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
