i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
