Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My penis needs a shock collar
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
