My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
