Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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