STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
