My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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