Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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