help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
