i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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