I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The air was thick with penises
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
