I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
