My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
