I don't usually arrange sex via text message
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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