I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
