Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
