He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
