I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
try to milk me bitch
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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