If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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