i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize