At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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