don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
