The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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